Pretending
by descentofthedoppelganger
Summary: Rachel and the New Directions have made it to NYC for nationals, but what happens when Rachel realizes that things with Finn arent what they used to be and finds herself wanting none other than the one and only Noah Puckerman?
1. PART I

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A/N: Hello all. I'm here with a new 3 part long Puckleberry story that I just couldn't keep myself from writing. There are slight spoilers from the Glee season 2 finale titled New York, although they arent alll in context. After seeing New York I felt like Puck and Rachel needed their own Nationals love affair type thing, so I present to you with this: a Puckleberry twist to the Glee Season 2 Finale! Anyway, I worked REALLY hard on this and it would be wonderful to hear what you all think. Reviews are pretty much the air I breathe. I have like 90% of this thing finished, I just have a few minor details to adjust in the third part but I will update within a reasonable time frame. More reviews=faster update. Any typos are my own. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee, at all, even though I wish I could have Mark Salling all to myself ;)**

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><p><strong>Pretending<strong>

PART I

"Now all we need is a group of street singers to serenade us and it would be perfect." Rachel tells Finn but deep down she knows it isn't exactly the truth. Their work date has been special, Finn did everything right and its what she's always wanted but she cant help but notice the spark between them is gone. The fluttery feeling she used to get when Finn touched her has disappeared and all that's left is a carefully constructed illusion. And she's left wondering why.

Then suddenly, like a sign from God, _his _voice drifts through the air and the way Noah sings the first verse of Bella Notte makes Rachel's knees go weak. She closes her eyes and leans her head against Finn's shoulder, doing whatever she can to dispel the image of Puck's hazel-green eyes from her mind. Finn is the one who brought her out tonight, she's supposed to want to be with him, not Noah. She's not supposed to wish that the arm she's holding was more muscular and tanned or that the lips she wants to feel are more full and sometimes taste like cheap alcohol.

Artie, Sam and Mike join in and sing as they walk and Rachel wonders if maybe fate is trying to tell her something. She keeps her eyes straight ahead as her and Finn walk together but she can still feel the impulse to turn around and take Noah's rough, calloused hand in hers.

"Wait." Finn declares, bringing them to a sudden stop. "This is the moment in those romantic comedies where I kiss you."

Rachel tenses as she sees Puck walk around them, still playing his accordion as Finn holds her hands in his. She wishes Finn hadn't said a word, hadn't pointed out the obvious, because now the night is about to fall apart at her feet.

"I thought this was just a work date." she defends feebly, but she knows that won't hold up with Finn for long, if at all.

"Really?" he asks challengingly and she isn't sure what she should do. She still cares about Finn, a lot, and she doesn't want to hurt him, but what can she possibly do? This is as much a shock to her as it will be to him. She shakes her head at his question. She knew this was a date, but she thought maybe, just maybe, her and Finn could have a good time and that would be all.

But then she'd met one of her idols, Patti Lupone at Sardi's, where the star had whispered, _he's cute. _And all Rachel can think about is how wrong it is that she almost wanted to whisper back, _Well you haven't met Noah Puckerman. Now _he's _cute_. (That should have been an indication all by itself) and then seeing Puck as he, Artie, Sam and Mike serenade her and Finn everything finally seemed to fall into place. She's in New York, that's where she's been planning on going since she first learned how to use her vocal chords but the sad truth is: Finn is of the past.

And sure, Noah is too, kind of, but the feelings she has when she's around him aren't and that's what matters. It's what she wants now, not tomorrow or yesterday. Finn leans in a small smirk on his lips as he goes to kiss her but she looks down and pulls away.

"I can't." Rachel tells him sadly as she looks up at him with her big brown eyes, begging him silently to understand. She watches as confusion and then determination flash through his mocha colored eyes and she feels her throat close up as he pleads with her.

"Take a chance on me." Finn replies as he leans in once more but Rachel can't help but look over his shoulder at the badass mohawked Jewish boy who she shouldn't be interested in and who is singing one of her favorite Disney songs, before pulling away again.

"I'm sorry, Finn." Rachel says softly, doing the best she can to convey how sorry she really is, before backing away slowly and looking past him again. "I can't." she tells him before turning abruptly and walking down the empty New York street.

Rachel doesn't tell him why she can't or how she wishes his brown eyes were green or that he had less hair on his head and was a bit shorter, she sends one last look toward a dumbstruck Finn and a still singing Puckerman then keeps walking until the sound of Noah's voice is out of earshot. When she feels like she's as far as she's willing to go she finally stops and finds a lone stoop to sit on before swiftly breaking down and letting the tears fall.

She doesn't understand how this happened. How she went from being completely head over heels for Finn to wanting something more with one Noah Puckerman. She supposes it could be leftover feelings from when the two of them dated but she doesn't think that's quite it. All those times they were together she felt that fire, during the bad reputation stunt, the football game, the barbraventon (that she knows he had been a part of), when he asked her to have that party, when she cheated on Finn back in December. She could have easily gone to anyone to cheat on Finn with, him and Sam weren't exactly the best of friends. But why Puck? Sure, it would have made Finn upset but there was something else. Something about Noah Puckerman that always kept her coming back for more. She tries to remember when she first started feeling this way. Was it before her break up with Finn or after? Was it after he started dating Lauren or before?

She remembers being concerned for him while he was in juvie and bringing him a batch of her famous sugar cookies to cheer him up, the phone calls and the letters and then after she found about Finn and Santana when they were in her room and he was positioned over her, kissing her, touching her.

Everything is just so blurred and she can't help but want him to be there to comfort her. She doesn't get it and she can't even hope to understand it, but after a good half hour of wallowing on some random person's front stoop, she accepts it. She loves Noah Puckerman and there is absolutely nothing she can do about it.

"Yo, Rachel?" she hears someone calling in the distance and she looks up just in time to see Noah come bounding from around the corner, clearly in a rush. He catches sight of her and stops, sighing in relief before scowling at her.

"Where the hell have you been, Berry? I was waiting for you to come back to the hotel and when you never showed up… I got… we all got worried." he falls quiet as he takes in Rachel's appearance, eyes puffy and tear tracks staining her cheeks. She toys with the hem of her dress as she tries to think of what to say, but she finds herself momentarily speechless. A first.

"Oh. Sorry." she manages to let out and he scratches his mohawk and adjusting the accordion that he has swung over his shoulder as Rachel looks away awkwardly.

"Hey, are you, like, okay?" he questions sincerely as he walks over and takes a seat beside her. She shrugs and looks cautiously at him. His eyes are deep green with brown fraying at the edges and she can see the genuine concern in their hazel depths.

"I think so." she replies somewhat honestly. She isn't really sure if she is, the feeling of wanting Noah Puckerman is a somewhat surreal one, so she isn't exactly sure. She feels like she may be though. One day.

"I don't know what exactly went down with you and Finn but if he hurt you, I don't care if he's my boy or not, I'll kick his ass." Puck offers kindly and Rachel chuckles a bit before laying her hand on his bicep. It's a 'thank you' squeeze not an 'I want your body' squeeze, she promises.

"That won't be necessary, Noah." she smiles before sighing heavily. "I'm the one who hurt him." she admits and she observes the confusion pass over his face at her statement.

"What do you mean?" he questions curiously, leaning in as if its some kind of secret. Which okay, she'll admit it kind of is, but how does _he _know that?

"I told him no." she answers and the weight of her refusal finally settles. She refused Finn Hudson after months of pining and waiting. She denied him when he wanted her back. Again, an unreal atmosphere settles around her. Rachel tries her best to gauge Puck's reaction but his face is simply unreadable.

"Why?" he asks, startling her after a few moments of silence. His jaw is clenched and his eyes are smoldering as he waits for her answer. She regains her composure and deliberates. This is her shot, her one moment to see if he could possibly be entertaining the idea of a Puckleberry reunion, like she is. But what about Lauren? Since her arrival Rachel has done her best to become friends with and appreciate the girl since she saved them from a forfeit at sectionals. While her talent was not equal to that of herself, Mercedes or even Santana she did have a quality that none of the others possessed. So, due to her status as glee club captain she had gone out of her way to accept Lauren with open arms, in a way she wished she would have been accepted. But kissing Noah or telling him she is in love with him is crossing a line and she isn't sure she wants to do that again.

Not to mention the fact that Lauren is on the wrestling team and can probably break her in half with a flick of her wrist. Her daddies may have put her in self defense class but no amount of training could ever prepare Rachel Berry to fight someone that much bigger than her. She still has nightmares of Santana and Lauren's brief and one sided fight. If Santana could get thrown around like a rag doll, Rachel can only imagine what Lauren could do to her.

"My heart belongs to someone else." she replies, going with the safer answer. She didn't tell him it was him who her heart belongs to, she isn't blatantly lying to him nor is she wrecking anyone's relationship, so she figures that's okay. Until she hears his next question and her heart drops into her stomach.

"Who?" he questions and she wonders if its really possible that she sees desire dancing in his eyes. She takes a deep breath to calm herself and tries to think about her next move. She doesn't have many options and she's at a loss at what to do.

"He's…" she pauses, eyes widening as she feels him get closer. She can't do this, not again.

"It doesn't matter. He'll probably think I'm crazy anyway." she says quickly before standing up and looking up and down the street, unsure which way the hotel may be and desperate to figure it out.

"It's getting late. We should probably get back to the hotel, don't you think?" she prompts as she starts toward the direction she thinks may be right. But he sighs and gets up before walking over to her and putting a hand on the small of her back to turn her around.

"The hotel is this way, Rach." he tells her quietly and she blushes as heat rises through her at his touch.

"Right." she replies coolly as they make their way back to the Marriot.

"So, uh, when did you learn how to play the accordion?" Rachel wonders, trying to strike up conversation and get rid of the awkward tension that seems to permeate the air around them.

"I don't remember you ever mentioning you play." she says quietly as they walk together under the dim light of the street lights that litter their pathway. Although she should have guessed, he's awfully good with his hands, why wouldn't he be a natural? If his guitar playing is any sign of his unrelenting talent.

"I try not to." he tells her slyly and she can't help but laugh. Now there's the sly badass Jew she has uncharacteristically come to know and love, always there to break the ice even when there's a chance he could make things unbearably worse.

"Well you did a fantastic job with Bella Notte. You're delivery of the first verse was beyond satisfactory. I just wish you had more opportunities to showcase your talent. Finn and Artie and Sam are all amazing but you have such a unique and incredible voice. Your rendition of Sweet Caroline and Billy Joel's classic Only the Good Die Young was fantastic…"

"You know you're cute as hell when you ramble." he smirks at her and she feels her face warm at his compliment as they arrive at the hotel and walk into the lobby.

"Thank you, Noah. I appreciate the sentiment." she tells him gratefully, still blushing heavily as they climb into the elevator and wait patiently. Rachel's brows furrow when she notices they pass their floor and she turns to Puck curiously.

"Where are you taking me?" Rachel asks. She doesn't know what he's up to, but as always she'd like to know.

"We got two stops. First one: the concert hall on the 20th floor. I kinda borrowed this accordion without telling anyone." he tells her sheepishly before looking to the numbers climb above the sliding door.

"Noah Eli Puckerman!" Rachel shouts in dismay, slapping his arm. He stole an accordion from the music hall?

"Chill, babe. I'm bringing it back, aren't I?" he challenges and she nods in agreement. Its definitely not because he called her babe or anything.

"I suppose." she agrees and he smirks at her. "And the second stop?" she wonders, a child like curiosity invading her tone. Puck smiles smugly as the doors to the 20th floor open.

"Knew you'd want to know." he chuckles as they both get out and he runs off to give back the stolen accordion. She paces while he's gone, hoping he doesn't get caught and just when she's ready to go in and get him herself he comes strolling around the corner buttoning up his jacket.

"What took you so long?" she whispers harshly as he ushers her past the elevator and to the stairwell that leads to every floor.

"Had to grab something." he says simply as he pushes the door open and holds it for Rachel. She eyes him suspiciously as she steps through.

"Are you sure we should be doing this, Noah?" she asks nervously, leveling her gaze with his as he steps in and closes the door behind them.

"Trust me." Puck breathes. She gazes into his eyes as he stares into hers and she feels all the breath leave her lungs.

She does her best to make it seem like she doesn't want to but after a few minutes of his pouting she agrees to follow him wherever he plans on taking her. And no she isn't checking him out as he walks in front of her, that would be a complete and total lie. She's merely appreciating the view. Her curiosity burns as well as her high heel clad feet as they climb floor after floor, until eventually Puck announces they are there.

He takes her hand in his and she bites her lip as he slams open a door labeled roof access. She's two seconds away from giving him a long lecture on breaking the rules of the hotel when she sees it. The view is incredible. You can see all the lights of time square and she feels herself smiling as she looks around them.

"Wow, this is lovely." Rachel says absently as she lets the New York City atmosphere take hold of her. "Thank you." she says gratefully, her worry a distant memory as she turns to Puck and grins. He shrugs easily before reaching into his jacket and pulling out a single red rose. Her eyes widen when he holds it out to her and she takes it, marveling at the gesture.

"I saw it on one of the food carts on my way back from the concert hall, thought you'd like it." he tells her nonchalantly as if its no big deal and she nods numbly. She almost forgot how sweet he could be when he really wants to be. She doesn't say anything, just leans in and kisses his cheek even though she wishes she could do more.

After a few jokes and a little conversation on the roof they take the stairs to the closest floor before riding the elevator down together. Puck walks with her to the door, hovering beside her as she she turns to face him.

"I just wanted to thank you again, for tonight. It was…" Rachel trails off, attempting to find the right word to describe how magical the night's been.

"Awesome?" Puck provides and she nods.

"Yes." Rachel chuckles, a small smile lighting her lips. Magical would have worked too. "It was most definitely awesome."

"It's no problem, us good lookin' Jews gotta stick together." Puck shrugs. They fall quiet and he kisses her cheek shyly before quietly slipping into his room with the boys. Rachel takes a deep steadying breath before making her way inside and getting ready for bed.

It isn't until everyone's settled down and asleep does she get up to get a bottle of water and run into Santana on the way.

"I saw you with Puckerman out in the hall earlier." she whispers quietly and Rachel blushes crimson, all the while nervous that Santana might try to stir trouble.

"How?" Rachel questions and Santana shrugs.

"Britt wanted one of those doily things in the gift shop so I ran down to go pick one up for her and I saw you two." the Latina explains easily, her tone one that is reserved for all things Brittany related.

"Oh, it wasn't what it looked like." Rachel tries to defend herself but Santana isn't having it.

"Look, I don't care that you wants you some Puckerone. Truth be told, I think he's better for you than the jolly green giant anyway. At least with Puckerman you act like a semi normal person." Santana shrugs. Rachel isn't quite sure this is happening and she almost wants to pinch herself to make sure she's not dreaming.

"I, thank you I guess." Rachel stutters before sighing. "What are you getting at Santana?" she questions anxiously, usually anything involving the Latina girl usually has her crying or humiliated. Sometimes both.

"Look, all I'm saying is: I'm team Puckleberry, okay? Anything is better than him and Lauren. He's lost his balls and I rather him lose his balls to you than to her. Somehow when you ask him to do things, it makes him less pathetic compared to when Lauren _forces _him to do things. Catch my drift?" Santana questions and Rachel nods hesitantly. She pinches herself just to check and is assured that their conversation is actually happening.

"I think so." Rachel squeaks and Santana nods at her.

"Good. Now I'll see you tomorrow or whatever." Santana says as she walks over to her bed she shares with Brittany, and Quinn.

"Goodnight Santana." Rachel says quietly as she steps over a sleeping Lauren and a sleeping Mercedes. Santana is silent for a moment and stares at her before replying.

"Night Ber- Rachel." she whispers back before sliding into bed beside Brittany. And Rachel isn't sure, but she thinks that a truce might have just been exchanged between the two of them and she finds it strange that she's somewhat happy about it. When she finally falls asleep after a few hours of contemplation her dreams are filled with red roses, green eyes, full lips, and calloused fingers stroking her cheek.


	2. PART II

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A/N: Hey everybody so here it is, PART II of my alternate season 2 finale! I want to thank all of you who have story alerted, favorited this and especially those of you who have reviewed because seeing that you like my writing enough to leave a comment about it really makes all this hard work WORTH IT. In other words, (In a very dramatic voice that could possibly rival Rachel Berry) I need reviews to live! Now that we got that out of the way, as you all I know there's one more part to this. I'll be updating soon. I hope you guys like it. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee, at all, even though I wish I could have Mark Salling all to myself ;)**

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><p><strong>Pretending<strong>

PART II

"Rachel, wake up. Wake up." she hears Kurt whisper excitedly as he hops on the bed with her and hovers over her. She wipes the drool off herself and looks up at him expectantly but also slightly groggy and dazed.

"Why?" she asks curiously and he grins at her.

"We're going to breakfast at Tiffany's." he replies and Rachel is out of bed and ready in less than 15 minutes. They make their way to get breakfast and talk about anything and everything, even a few things she doesn't want to discuss.

"We are going to get in so much trouble for this." Rachel squeals and Kurt just moans happily.

"Oh these bagels!" Kurt exclaims and Rachel smiles at him.

"It's the water." she explains. Looking around her, she can feel the smile tugging at her lips. She's _in _New York. "You're the only one besides me who understands how amazing this place is. Which is why I have a secret to tell you. When we graduate I'm coming back and I'm going to college here. This is where I belong."

"I'm so coming too. And I talked to Blaine, he's on board as well." Kurt tells her happily and she grins so hard her cheeks feel numb. This is amazing. Her, Kurt, and Blaine taking New York City by storm. She can see it now.

"Good." she says wholeheartedly, trying to ignore the constant pangs in her chest. What about Noah?

"Which leaves only one question." Kurt concludes and Rachel quirks a brow and wonders what _else _she has to worry about. "What are you going to do about Puck?"

"What?" Rachel shrieks almost spilling her coffee on the pavement. How did Kurt know about her liking Puck? She swears he has like a sixth sense sometimes.

"Oh, don't' act so surprised. I was up late texting Blaine when I heard you two out in the hall and when Puck expertly snuck back in. What were you _two _up to? What happened to dearest Finn and his oh so romantic date he had planned for the two of you?" Kurt asks his eyebrow quirking in curiosity. Rachel looks away and blushes before looking back to Kurt. His eyes still trained on her, waiting for an answer.

"I realized Finn and I aren't exactly meant to be. Simple as that." she replies as she takes a bite out of her bagel. Anything to give her more time to think.

"And Puck?" Kurt inquires and Rachel pauses, trying to keep from blushing and failing miserably.

"I may have feelings for a certain Jewish boy but…" Rachel shakes her head and trails off. Yes she has feelings for Noah Puckerman, but in the end it doesn't matter. It's not enough.

"Oh my god, Puckleberry lives!" Kurt yells gleefully whipping out his cell phone ant tapping away. Rachel looks around, putting her arms up to quiet him. She wishes she could be happy about it, but unfortunately her feelings for Puck are another set of misplaced emotions that she needs to get straight for her sake as well as for Puck and Lauren.

"It doesn't matter, Kurt. He's got Lauren and I refuse to meddle in their relationship." Rachel tells him seriously and Kurt frowns.

"Rachel, Puck was yours first. It's obvious he likes you too." Kurt tries to convince her but Rachel winces.

"Right, which is why he's with Lauren." she states and Kurt rolls his eyes.

"I bet Puck would follow you to New York. He'll be great if we need to move anything heavy." Kurt tells her and Rachel sighs. She wants to be with Noah, and maybe he would follow her. It's a lot easier to imagine Noah Puckerman leaving Lima then it is to see Finn doing the same thing. If not just because Puck has more to prove. To his father, to his family, to himself. They've talked about leaving Ohio a few times, not in length but Rachel knows its something Noah is set on doing.

"And if he doesn't see what a wonderful and beautiful person you are, well then you always have Broadway." Kurt assures her and she smiles softly before sighing.

"But I do love him." she says quietly and that is bigger than any other secret she could have ever told Kurt. His eyes widen and he looks to her sympathetically.

"And you'll find someone else, something better." he comforts her and she hangs her head a bit.

"I don't know how." she admits and Kurt turns to her.

"I do. Follow me." he commands as he starts to power walk. Rachel wonders what her best friend is up to as she goes to catch up with him.

"Wait." she calls out as Kurt continues to speed walk toward an unknown location. When Kurt finally stops they both look up at the sign that reads Gershwin theatre and Wicked. Rachel isn't sure of Kurt's intent but she still cant find herself feeling better about the entire Puck situation.

"I love this show but its not helping me get over Noah." she tells him and he shakes his head.

"We have to go in." Kurt replies, his voice low and conspiritory. "Strike that. We have to break in." Rachel looks toward him, brows furrowed did he seriously just say…?

Kurt drags her around the back and she can't believe it as she watches him kick in the door. She literally _can't _believe it. When she asks him how he learned how to do that he shrugs and replies, "Blaine watches a lot of cop shows. I asked him to teach me, you know just in case I ever needed to know."

And Rachel isn't sure why he would ever need to know but she starts to get really worried when they actually make it inside.

"No, we can't be in here. They say if you get arrested in a theatre you can get blacklisted." Rachel whispers in a panic. She cant believe she's doing something she's not supposed to for the second day in a row. What happened to saying no to peer pressure? Kurt opens his mouth to reply when they hear someone.

"Hey!" a man shouts before he walks down the aisle toward them. "You're not supposed to be in here."

"We're extras." Kurt comes up with quickly and Rachel prepares herself. "They told us to come early."

"Yes, we're being fitted for our costumes." Rachel supports, smiling wide, hoping this man will believe them. She doesn't want hers and Kurt's career to be ruined by a stupid stunt like this.

"You're from Indiana, right?" the man drawls and Rachel shakes her head.

"Ohio actually." she supplies and he nods knowingly.

"You got some big Broadway dream about singing a song on a real Broadway stage." the man says and Rachel feels Kurt tense beside her.

"Look, we're really sorry…" Kurt starts to apologize but the man turns away.

"You got fifteen minutes." he tells them as he retreats back to wherever he came from and Rachel looks at Kurt and squeals before running full speed ahead toward the stage with him.

"I want to show you what's waiting for you, even if Puckerman doesn't wise up and see what's right in front of him." Kurt says as he surveys their surroundings.

"How?" she questions as her eyes rake over the stage, soaking in every last detail.

"Sing." Kurt sing songs and Rachel puts her jacket down and smiles. Kurt comes over and puts his arm around her, turning her toward the empty seats.

"Picture yourself in front of a full audience belting out the final song of one of the greatest musicals of all time." he advises, closing his eyes to visualize it himself.

"But there's no orchestra." she disputes and he keeps his eyes closed as he tells her dreamily to, "Make one... in your mind"

He points up at the big clock and Rachel takes a deep breath. She lets her imagination run wild and the music sounds as she turns toward the nonexistent audience and begins to sing.

_I'm limited. Just look at me - I'm limited and just look at you. You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda. So now it's up to you. For both of us - now it's up to you..._

Rachel pulls Kurt in her arms and faces him toward the crowd, his eyes light up and he starts to sing as Rachel goes to explore the upper balcony.

_I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who help us most to grow. If we let them and we help them in return. Well, I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you..._

Kurt spins around and watches as Rachel climbs the last few steps, grips the railing and looks out off the balcony then down to him as he follows her up the stairs.

_Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun. Like a stream that meets a boulder, halfway through the wood. Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because i knew you. I have been changed for good._

They sing together and Rachel and Kurt move downward off the stairs.

_And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness for the things I've done you blame me for. _

Rachel takes Kurt's hand as he sings the next verse.

_But then I guess we know there's blame to share. And none of it seems to matter anymore. _

He leads her onto the stage and they take one side each before pouring all their energy into the song as they face the crowd they hope will one day be there.

_Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun. Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood. Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea. Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood._

_Who can say if I've been changed for the better?_

They take each others hand and smile out toward the front of the stage. Rachel knows this is where she belongs. She loves Puck, but if he doesn't want her Broadway is enough for her. It's always been enough for her.

_Because I knew you… I have been changed for good…_

Rachel pulls Kurt into a hug as their last note drifts across the theater. She will never be able to tell him how much this means to her.

"Thank you, Kurt." she pulls away and looks reverently around her. "I see it now. If Noah doesn't want to be with me, I know I'll be okay, because this, I mean, this stage, Broadway, New York. That's my true love."

And after saying it, she knows she means it. She knows she'll be able to get through anything as long as she has music and Broadway. And yeah, not having Noah Puckerman there with her when she gets her first Tony is going to hurt. No amount of fame could ever make her forget him but she'll survive, with Broadway by her side.

When Kurt and Rachel get back to the hotel everyone is already working and it isn't long before they disperse to take a break.

That's how she finds herself running down to the lobby to ask about when dinner starts in the dining area for Kurt and Mercedes when Puck comes by and sweeps her past the front desk and out of the hotel. She'd be worried about Mr. Schuester finding out but, surprisingly he's MIA again so she simply looks to Puck and narrows her eyes.

"You planned this." Rachel says suspiciously and Puck smirks mischievously.

"Maybe."

That's when she thinks about how keen Kurt and Mercedes had been on getting her out of the room and out into the lobby. "You definitely planned this." she concludes and he shrugs as they walk through times square.

"Alright, alright you caught me but I figured, I'm the ambadassador of this club and how does that look on me that you and Kurt snuck out before the Puckerone did?" Puck questions playfully and Rachel shakes her head in mock disappointment.

"Oh, you must feel so ashamed." she says sympathetically, touching his arm to comfort him.

"It's just not right, babe." he shakes his head sadly before looking at her with a wicked glint in his eyes "Which is why _we're _sneaking out."

"And where exactly are we going?" Rachel wonders as she loops her arm through his.

"Hm… well I was thinking see some sights maybe take a stroll through central park?"

"Central Park?" Rachel asks excitedly.

"Yeah, what do you think?" Puck asks, measuring her reaction and she makes sure she lets her enthusiasm ooze out.

"I think it sounds great."

"Okay then."

They start off on their journey and spend a few hours goofing off and hitting some stores and taking pictures before they finally reach Central Park. It's their last stop before it gets dark and they have to get back but Rachel sighs happily as they sit together on a wooden bench.

"This has been fun. I'm so glad we came out today. This was a lot more fun then being cooped up in the hotel room." Rachel gushes and Puck shrugs easily.

"Yeah well I know you love New York and everything so I figured why the hell not? Plus, I've always really wanted to try one of these dirty water hot dogs. I heard they're the shit." Puck says holding up his hot dog for good measure before taking a bite.

"So what's the verdict?" Rachel waits patiently as his face screws up in thought and he grins.

"The definitely are fucking delicious." he concludes and Rachel laughs as he holds the hot dog out and offers it to her. "Wanna bite?"

She scrunches up her nose in distaste and shakes her head as he eats the last of it.

"I wasn't gonna give you any anyway." he grumbles and she giggles despite herself. "Oh you think its funny, Berry?" he challenges, leaning in and she shakes her head.

"No. No its not funny." she replies between laughs as he starts to run his fingers down her sides and tickle her senselessly. He shifts her on his lap and she starts to poke him in order to defend herself. They always say the best defense is a good offense, right?

"Okay that's not fair." Puck says as Rachel inches toward the one place she knows he's ticklish: his neck.

A few minutes go by and they're both so out of breath and exhausted from laughing so much they don't realize until they're faces are barely a few inches a part that Rachel is strewn across his lap. Rachel feels her body react to his and she blushes furiously. She opens her mouth to start rambling on about something to distract herself from how his body feels under her when she feels the first cold drop of water fall on her nose. They both look up just n time to see the onslaught of rain come falling down. Rachel hops off Puck's lap and he takes her hand as she pulls him out and starts spinning.

"Rachel what are you doing?" Puck chuckles as Rachel stops and looks at him.

"Dance with me." she says, his smile falters a bit and she can practically hear the wheels turning in his head.

Rachel looks up into his eyes and she can tell he's debating. He probably thinks this about the lamest thing in the world but she can't _not _do it. Dancing in the rain, there's just something so theatrical about it.

"Come on." she pleads as she lets go of his hand and backs up a little. He smiles before she turns and starts to run and he takes off after her, catching up within a few seconds.

He wraps his arms around her from behind and she twists her body to see him. He puts a hand on her waist and grabs her hand with his before spinning them around. She's surprised he's actually doing it but as the two of them twirl under the sheet of rain she feels like nothing can touch her. Like everything is right in the world.

Then she gets a text from Kurt warning her that her and Puck better come back soon and they both grab each other's hand before running back to the Marriott.

When her Rachel and Puck finally get back they separate, promising to see each other soon, and when Rachel goes to change out of her soaked clothes she catches Santana and Brittney leaving the room. Santana nods while Brittney waves happily and Rachel smiles softly at the both of them before going into the girls' joint room. She's about ready to leave when she sees Quinn come out of the bathroom, sporting a brand new haircut.

"Hello Quinn." Rachel says hesitantly. She knows Quinn isn't happy with her, she wasn't when she was in the same position as the ex cheerio. Wanting someone who didn't want her. She's pretty much in the same boat right now, just not with the same person

"Rachel." she replies bitingly and Rachel winces.

"I like your new haircut." Rachel compliments and Quinn nods curtly.

"Thanks." the blonde says before brushing past Rachel and heading toward the other room, but before she can get far Rachel twists around to look at her.

"Quinn?" Rachel calls out and she turns around just as she reaches the door. Her eye brows go up, waiting for Rachel to say something and Rachel takes a deep breath before saying what she has to say.

"I just wanted to say… I'm sorry." she tells her sincerely and at first Quinn is unresponsive so Rachel presses on despite Quinn's silence. "I should have respected your relationship with Finn and moved on instead of pining after him the way I did."

"Damn right you should have." Quinn replies bitterly and Rachel nods, knowing she deserves almost every bit of Quinn's venom. "But, its not all your fault either." the blonde admits and Rachel is stunned at her admission. "You cant help what you feel and Finn wasn't exactly guiltless either."

"Thank you for understanding." Rachel feels a weight lift off her shoulders as Quinn nods at her. "I want you to know that I wont be pursuing Finn any longer."

"Yeah I heard, manhands has got the hots for Puckerman." Quinn sneers before watching Rachel deflate at her barb. She winces before correcting herself. "I mean, Rachel."

"Thank you." Rachel replies and Quinn puts her hands on her hips.

"Don't think this means we're gonna be besties or something because its not." But Quinn smiles despite her words and Rachel nods before smiling back. "Plus, maybe Finn's gonna need someone to pick up the pieces?" Quinn wonders hopefully and in that moment Rachel sees the girl that hides behind the harpy like attitude. She's just a regular girl who wants to be loved and appreciated, just like her.

"Yeah, maybe." Rachel replies as they both make their way to the room where all the others are working.

But instead of finding a song in the making they find the coach of Vocal Adrenaline standing in the middle of the room. That's the first thing Rachel notices. The second thing is Puck and Lauren are on opposite sides of the room, not that she's happy about that or anything…

"Guys, what is _he _doing here?" Quinn demands, squinting her eyes viscously at the man standing in the middle of the room.

"Yeah, shouldn't you be off making your kids barf up their dinner?" Rachel insults and Dustin Goolsby scoffs at her and laughs openly.

"I just thought the New Directions would like to know where their coach has been these past two days." the man says innocently and Rachel puts her hands on her hips in contempt.

"Mr. Schuester has been filling out paper work for nationals." Finn says and Goolsby shakes his head. Rachel does her best to avoid Finn's gaze.

"Is that what he told you?" Goolsby chuckles before looking each and every one of the New Directions in the eye. "Your glee club director has been out auditioning on Broadway while you sit cozied up in your hotel room attempting to put together a contemplation of mediocre songs that will not even place you in the top forty."

"Don't believe a word he says. He's only trying to put us in a funk before the competition. Didn't your Vocal Adrenaline freaks tell you about how well it worked the last time?" Puck retorts before Finn even gets the chance to speak up. Rachel looks at Puck and smiles proudly at his leadership skills.

"Don't believe me? Check the Broadway blogoshpere." Goolsby smirks before heading toward the door. His hand falls on the handle before he turns toward them one last time. "Oh and good luck at Nationals. You'll need it."

He lets out an evil laugh before walking out and closing the door behind him.

"You don't think…" Mercedes trails off as she meets the eyes of the others. Rachel isn't sure what to think. She wants to believe its isn't true, but she of all people knows how strong the call of Broadway is, its alluring and like a siren. Her and Kurt exchange a nervous glance. They both know the effects of the Broadway stage.

"Should we check?" Santana asks and Rachel watches as she and everyone else nods. Finn, slowly but surely pulls out his phone and gets on the internet to surf for information.

"Where would I find a blog about Broadway?" he questions and Kurt rolls his eyes playfully.

"You're such a boy. _I'll _show you." he says as he leans over the back of his step brother's chair and snatches his phone, typing the html of the website. His eyes widen and Rachel's do too and it's a domino effect until every member of the New Directions looks like googly eyed freaks. Its seems like hours before Kurt finally tells them what they all feared.

"Quote: 'One William Schuester was seen at the August Wilson theatre holding auditions for Crossroads: an April Road musical. After an amazing performance of Still Got Tonight, William Schuester was told by a Broadway exec that he had seen a lot of talent in his day but that he, William Schuester had the _it_ that every star longs to have. It is assumed that William Schuester will be taking the lead in the musical that has been written and starred in by April Rhodes…' Unquote." Kurt reads before falling silent along with the others. Rachel isn't sure what to say, but she doesn't have much time to think before Quinn is speaking.

"This is good, right? Mr. Schuester fulfilling his dreams. We should be happy for him, right?" the blonde asks, her voice laced with sadness.

"This is beyond good. It's great for him. He always said he wanted to be on Broadway now look, he's there." Rachel tells them, her tone bittersweet. Of course, she's happy for Mr. Schuester but at the same time she also wishes he didn't have to go. He's been the greatest teacher any of them could have ever asked for. She just can't believe that he's leaving.

"But what about us?" Puck wonders and the others don't provide an answer so Rachel does.

"We'll either get a new director or glee club will be over." Rachel says mournfully and she meets eyes with Puck, Santana, Quinn, Brittney, Kurt, Mercedes, Sam, Tina, Mike, Artie, Finn, even Lauren all of whom have become like her family.

"No, glee club could never be over Rachel." Mercedes smiles and the others nod in agreement. And Rachel is happy to be a part of this. To be a part of their family, no matter how dysfunctional and crazy it is. Nomatter how many times they've all swapped boyfriends or girlfriends or had it out, she's grateful for every person in the room. Despite everything, these are the people who matter to her the most and she knows they'll be able to get through this.

"So it's settled. We're all for Mr. Schue's Broadway dreams?" Tina prompts and Rachel nods vehemently.

"I'd say so." she replies and Puck looks at her and smiles softly.

"Yeah, I'm in agreement." Artie says happily and Tina, Mike, Brittney, Mercedes, Sam, Finn, Santana, Quinn and Lauren all agree, not needing to say more.

"So, uh, songs for nationals." Finn mentions and Rachel clears her throat to get everyone's attention. Yes, they have to focus on writing these songs so they can win! It's the least they can do, for Mr. Schue.

"Alright. So what do we have so far?" Puck questions, rubbing his hands together and smirking

"Well, I've been working on this song since we did that New York mash up. Maybe me and someone can perform it so we can all see if its good or not." Finn suggests and Artie, Mercedes and Sam nod.

"Okay so, who wants to test it out with me?" Finn wonders, his eyes immediately falling on Rachel. She stays quiet, nudging Quinn slightly before looking down at her notepad.

"I'll do it." Quinn offers and Finn looks at Rachel sadly before nodding.

"Yeah, okay." he agrees just as the door opens. Rachel looks over toward the door and sees Mr. Schuester's head peeking out from behind a huge stack of pizzas as he closes the door with his foot.

"Alright guys, who's up for some real New York City pizza?" Mr. Schuester asks lightheartedly. But the smile on his face falls as soon as he meets everyone's eyes. Rachel feels her throat get tight as he looks at them. She's really going to miss having him as a teacher, there's no doubt about that.

"We heard." Quinn says solemnly and Mr. Schue shakes his head.

"Heard what?" he wonders, completely oblivious. He wasn't going to tell them, not until after nationals of that Rahcel is certain. He didn't want them to be distracted or upset before the competition, so he was planning on waiting until after it was all over.

"About you leaving to be on Broadway." Mercedes tells him and he lets out a deep breath before setting down the stack of pizzas in his hand. He definitely was going to wait.

"Look, I haven't made up my mind about anything." he assures them and Rachel's thankful when Kurt speaks up first, it seems like she needs a minute to find her voice again. She knows its in their somewhere.

"We did." Kurt replies. "And we're happy for you."

Rachel is relieved when her voice floats freely through the air.

"You've inspired us in so many ways so, this is just another." she tells him genuinely. He looks pained as he surveys the room and he sighs.

"I don't understand. Who told you guys?" he questions and Tina tells him.

"Goolsby." she says simply and Rachel and the others watch as Mr. Schuester stews silently.

"Mr. Schue are you okay?" Mike asks in concern and Mr. Schuester looks up at and meets the eyes of every single one of them.

"I'm not going." he tells them, his voice cracking ever so slightly. "I'm staying with you guys. I had my moment on that stage and it was _glorious_. But you and I, have some unfinished business to take care of." His face sets in determination and Rachel can't help but be ecstatic. Mr. Schuester is staying with them and they are going to defeat Vocal Adrenaline, no matter what.

"Now get your notebooks out. Time to get to work. Come on, this is nationals people." He claps his hands together and Rachel laughs freely as Puck gets up and envelopes Mr. Schuester in a hug. Her as well as the rest of the New Directions get up one by one to join him and as she looks down to see Noah's hand find hers she smiles brightly against Santana and Quinn's shoulder. This is it, its their time. They are _so _going to win this thing.


	3. PART III

A/N: So here it is. Part III of Pretending. I worked very hard on this and I really hope you like this. I just felt like Puckleberry needed its chance for season 2. Hopefully Ryan Murphy will wise up and make Puckleberry endgame. Because Finchel is okay but I'm just so tired of the two of them. Anyway, please leave reviews because feedback really puts a smile on my face. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee, at all, even though I wish I could have Mark Salling all to myself ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Pretending<strong>

PART III

It's not until many hours and seven empty pizza boxes later when the group finds themselves with a dilemma.

"Finn, this song you wrote is… fantastic." Mr. Schuester compliments and Finn nods appreciatively at his teacher's words. "Now all we have to do is decide who's singing it."

"Well I wrote it as a duet for me and Rachel." Finn points out and Rachel grimaces. How is she supposed to tell him she can't, that she won't? Rachel is in the middle of biting her lip when she sees Puck slam his pencil down on his notepad. She looks up, startled like everyone else.

"I think someone else should sing the duet with Rachel." Puck tells them and Rachel's mouth falls open.

"Dude." Finn scowls and Puck looks to him and shakes his head.

"Don't dude me, bro." Puck replies before turning to the New Directions and trying to convince them. "Look we tried to beat Vocal Adrenaline last year with a Finn and Rachel duet and it didn't work. I'm not saying that the two of you don't sound good together but obviously it isn't enough."

"But I wrote the song for us." Finn argues and Kurt raises his hand to draw the attention of the others and give input.

"And Rachel's our star." he concludes and Tina as well as the others nod in agreement.

"He's got a point." Santana admits and Rachel feels her heart warm at their words.

"I know that, which is why I think someone else should sing with her." Puck explains and Finn frowns. "I'm not trying to say you aren't good or anything dude but maybe the judges are looking for something else."

"But how are we supposed to decide who should sing or not?" Mercedes questions from Sam's side.

"How about we hold a vote?" Mr. Schuester offers as a solution. "Everyone will write the names of the people they think should do the duet. Fair?"

Finn nods reluctantly as Rachel and the rest of them rip off small slips of paper and write on them. Kurt whispers to Brittney, Mike, Santana, Sam, Quinn, Tina and Mercedes before placing his vote and the rest of the New Directions follow swiftly after him. Rachel folds her small sheet of paper up that reads _Noah Puckerman _and _Mercedes Jones_. Two people who deserve the chance to showcase their talent. A year ago she wouldn't be caught dead voting for someone other than herself but she just knows now that everyone deserves their chance in the spotlight.

After everyone has given their slips to Mr. Schue, they all wait anxiously as he opens them up one by one before taking a deep breath and facing them.

"The two who will be singing the duet for nationals are… Rachel and Puck." Mr. Schue smiles and Kurt and Mercedes clap and cheer with the others, while Finn looks heartbroken. "Congratulations, guys."

"What?" Finn questions sadly and Puck looks to Finn then Rachel and back again, his expression disbelieving.

"Mr. Schue this isn't what I wanted…" Puck trails off and Rachel feels her heart drop into her stomach at his words. He didn't want to sing with her, he just wanted Finn _not _to.

She looks at everyone around the room and her eyes fall on Lauren. And again she feels guilt worm its way into the pit of her stomach.

"It was your idea Puck. Obviously everyone thinks you can do it, otherwise they wouldn't have chosen you. So make everybody proud." Mr. Schuester says, patting Puck on the back before walking over toward the others so they can start working on the second song for their performance. Rachel sighs as she watches Finn give her a disparaging look as he slinks over to the group and Puck remains unmoving from his spot. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before telling Mr. Schue she needs some air and making her way out into the inner depths of the hotel.

She walks for a while, not really sure where she wants to go but eventually she finds herself moving toward the stairwell that leads to the roof. And before long she's standing up there, breathing in the New York City air as she stares out across the rooftops. She should have know Noah wouldn't want to have anything to do with her. What? He's nice to her a few times and she automatically thinks that they have this stellar connection? Who is she kidding? It was a struggle to get Finn's attention, how did she ever expect to catch the eye of a boy who could have pretty much any girl he wanted? She's stupid and naïve and… not to mention, Lauren. How could she justify pursuing Puck when he is obviously already attached. It's not right. She's not going to be a part of another love triangle. She just can't be.

"Rachel? You up here?"

Rachel spins around to see Puck emerging from the door she just walked through not even a few minutes ago and she wraps her arms around herself self consciously as he comes closer. They changed into their pajamas a few hours ago and she isn't really sure what he thinks of the tank top and shorts Santana loaned her because somehow her pink and purple polka dotted cotton pajama set seemed to _vanish _out of thin air.

"Hey." he mumbles as he stuffs his hands in his pockets and comes to a stop a few feet away from her. "Thought I'd find you up here."

She wants to say something, anything, but she isn't sure what. So instead she decides to focus on the obvious. Something easy.

"Yeah, it really is beautiful. And everything is so bright and colorful and full of light. It's like a whole other world. I just couldn't stay away." she admits as she stares past him at the city. He nods and looks with her.

"Sure is." he agrees before moving a little closer and stepping in front of her to block her view. "What's the matter? You were so happy about getting that duet and then you just walked out. What was that about?" He's quiet for a moment before he offers up a theory. "Is it about Finn? Do you think a duet with him would be better?" he asks, his face looking almost pained at the idea.

Rachel almost wants to scream at him for being so oblivious. Can't he see what he's doing to her? That she _wants _to sing with him? Its not about Finn. It hasn't been about Finn since they arrived in New York.

"Do you actually like singing, Noah?" Rachel asks and he nods vigorously.

"Of course I do. It's why I'm here." he replies and her eyes glaze over as she stares into his. "Well one of the reasons."

"Don't you want to sing with me?" she questions tearfully. She doesn't understand why. Why she always picks the guys who are either using her (i.e. Jesse) or the ones who just don't take an interest. Why she can never seem to get it right.

"Rach, why would you even ask that? Do I want to sing with you? Hell yes, I want to sing with you. Your voice is like nothing I've ever heard before. Just being able to listen to it is good enough for me and now I'm going to sing with you at nationals…" he shakes his head and smiles to himself. "It's incredible and so…"

"Surreal." she finishes for him and he brings a hand up and strokes her cheek.

"Exactly." he drawls, his voice heavy and husky as he leans in. Her heart races in her chest as he gets closer and she can almost taste him on her lips. She's so close to him and she can feel his breath fanning her face. She wants so badly to give in but there's still Lauren. There's always _something_. Quinn. Finn. Lauren.

She turns away and his lips hit her neck and she feels that heat race through her as he presses kisses up her jaw line and sucks at the skin. She starts to run her fingers through his mohawk before she gasps, pulling away and pushing her bangs out of her eyes.

"I… can't." Rachel whispers to him before running toward the stairs. She feels like she's said those words a thousand times and each time it gets harder and harder. She forces herself not to look back, taking two steps at a time until she reaches the first floor she passes with an elevator. She jumps in and sees Puck just as the elevator doors slide shut and she closes her eyes and leans back against the cool metal. It's time to focus on nationals and not boys. Not the way Noah's tongue feels against her skin or how his hair feels between her fingers. Nationals. And song writing. That's it. Nothing else.

xxxxxxx

The next two days are made up of nothing but eating, sleeping, practicing, and song writing. They finish up their second song which Puck suggested be titled _Light Up the World_. Rachel's been avoiding him at all hours of the day and night apart from the ones they use practicing their duet. Kurt, Mercedes, even Santana and Quinn continuously question her about what happened between them but her mouth is a steal trap refusing to say a word. She refuses to even acknowledge Puck, she can't let herself be distracted by thoughts of him. She does a good job keeping up her façade and she plays her part well.

It isn't until they're in the building, with their costumes securely fastened and their voices ready to go that she feels the overwhelming excitement that's been brewing finally spill over.

"We made it. We're one of the top fifty show choirs in the nation. Tomorrow ten will only move on to showcase and then five will go on to the national championship." Rachel squeals, her boy troubles temporarily forgotten.

"We've so got this." Kurt exclaims determinedly and Rachel nods, agreeing with him.

"Usually I'm pretty cautious about getting your hopes up but honestly guys, I think we got a really good shot at winning this thing. Now put your hands in the middle." Mr. Schue coaxes and everyone stacks their hands together. Rachel meets Noah's gaze as his hand comes down on hers.

"One, two, three. New York City!" they all shout before going in and finding their seats. There are a few performances and Rachel particularly recalls an all girls school's rendition of Usher's _Yeah_ and how Mercedes said they were good, but Rachel can't help but know they are better. Each one of them posseses a special quality that puts them above the other groups here and most of all, puts them above Vocal Adrenaline. She gets up during one school's somewhat disturbing version of Katy Perry's E.T. to go to the bathroom and as she gets up she notices Santana is gone. She shrugs it off until she gets into the bathroom and overhears someone barfing.

"Santana?" Rachel calls out her brows furrowed in confusion but instead of the headstrong Latina, out comes Sunshine Corazon, from the small stall in the ladies room.

"Aw, shoving your fingers down your throat like the rest of your brainwashed Vocal Adrenaline brothers and sisters?" Rachel questions sarcastically as she stares at Sunshine through the mirror.

"I'm not throwing up on purpose. I'm so nervous I cant keep an food down. I used to love singing. It was the only thing that relaxed me. Now I hate it." Sunshine admits quietly and Rachel narrows her eyes at the tiny Philippine girl.

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Rachel counters. Does Sunshine really think she can fool Rachel Barbra Berry? The pity party is the oldest trick in the book!

"I think you're kinda mean but I don't think you're stupid." Sunshine insists and Rachel looks at her intently.

"No, I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me to feel bad for you so that I don't try as hard to crush you on the stage." Rachel retorts and Sunshine shakes her head. Sunshine can deny, deny, deny all she wants but Rachel knows the truth.

"What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much? When I came to your school I heard that the glee club was where kids went when no one else would take them. A safe place. For some reason you made me the only one who wasn't safe there." Sunshine tells her harshly, before turning to leave. Rachel's brows furrow as Sunshine starts to leave.

"Where are you going?" Rachel blurts out and Sunshine stops and stares. And Rachel can see _so_ much sadness in her eyes.

"To the Philippine embassy. I'm going to get them to revoke my Visa and deport me back home. That's the only way I'm going to be able to escape Vocal Adrenaline."

"Wait, wait." Rachel says, walking over to stop her. She can't let Sunshine do this. "It's because you're good. That's why I hated you. That's why I sent you to that crack house." Rachel looks down before looking up, tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Sunshine nods and puts on a small smile.

"But you have to go out there and sing." Rachel tells her, as she grips her shoulders and then brushes Sunshine's bangs from her face. "You have a gift. Something that Dustin Goolsby would kill for."

"I can't. I'm going to barf all over the stage." Sunshine replies sadly, shaking her head. But Rachel isn't going to let Sunshine give up.

"If you feel like you're going to throw up, just look at me and I'll help you." Rachel tells her and Sunshine cocks her head to the side.

"Why? Don't you want to win?" Sunshine wonders and Rachel's lips tug up at the corners. How could she have been so self absorbed? All Rachel ever used to want was to be the best, but glee club has taught her that being the best means knowing when to let others be their best too.

"Guys like us have to stick together." Rachel replies and they both smile. "I'm going to hug you now." Rachel tells her and she laughs with her before leaning in and embracing her. Rachel knows she was mean, well mean is an understatement, she was awful to Sunshine but at least now she can make up for it.

Rachel runs back to her seat and Sunshine takes the stage as the crowd cheers for her. Rachel stands up, the only one among the New Directions until a confused Puck joins her as she cheers Sunshine on. Everyone settles down and sits and as the cheers die down Sunshine searches the crowd for Rachel. When she catches sight of her, Rachel smiles softly and gives her two thumbs up in encouragement. Sunshine smiles back and the music starts.

"What are you doing?" Puck asks quietly from behind her and she keeps her eyes straight ahead as she answers.

"Making something right." she says simply as she lets Sunshine's voice drown everything else out. Her and Vocal Adrenaline perform a stunning performance of an original song. And she knows she should probably be worried about it but as Sunshine finishes the final note all she can be is proud as she sends the girl a warm encouraging smile. One of many she's given tonight.

They go back stage to get ready to perform and Finn pulls her aside to talk before she has to go off with Puck and take her place.

"You wrote an amazing song, Finn. I didn't know you had it in you." she compliments and he shakes his head.

"Who cares about the song. What I don't understand is all you've ever wanted was for us to be together and I'm basically standing here begging for another chance and now you're not interested." he tells her perplexedly and Rachel takes a deep breath, getting ready to finally tell him what's on her mind.

"Finn I care about you, I really do, but I finally realized, we're not enough for each other. You don't think there's a reason you keep going back to Quinn? Its because something is there. Something _I _can't touch. And yes I love you very much but… not like I did." Rachel shakes her head before meeting Finn's eyes. She hopes he's getting what she's saying.

"So what? You're saying we're really over?" he questions, sadness coloring his features. And she can feel sadness in herself too. What they had was wonderful and great but its over. They're finally finished.

"Yes. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing, Finn." Rachel whispers to him as she looks past him toward Quinn. "There is a girl out there that loves you more than anything. You just have to open your eyes and look." she tells him sweetly and he looks over at Quinn before looking back at Rachel, awareness filling his eyes.

"Thank you, Rachel." he says before kissing her cheek and walking in Quinn's direction. Rachel takes a deep breath and turns away as Kurt comes up and stares at her.

"You ready for this?" he asks challengingly and she nods. "As I'll ever be." she replies as someone comes to usher her and Noah to their spots. As they wait for the group before them to finish up and their music to cue Rachel looks over at Noah at the other end of the curtain. He looks kind of nervous. When he catches her staring he straightens up and walks over to her.

"So?" Rachel prompts and Puck shakes his head.

"Cut the bullshit, Rachel. What is going on with you? Ever since we found out about doing the duet together you've been acting different." Puck tells her and she looks away to try and figure out what to say. He lifts her chin up and directs her gaze toward him, with his fingers. "Tell me why, Rach."

"I.." she opens her mouth to say something before shutting it. No, she cant be that girl again. She can't be the boyfriend stealing backstabber who is too selfish to think of anyone else but herself. Noah is with Lauren. That's it. End of story. She's never going back. "Nothing." she says quickly before breaking out of his grip and shuffling over to her side of the stage. They share a long, meaningful glance before the music cues. Rachel feels her stomach knot as they step out onto the stage.

_Face to face and heart to heart. We're so close, yet so far apart. I close my eyes I look away, that's just because I'm not okay._

They slowly make their way to each other across the stage until they finally come face to face. His eyes are filled with emotion and she tries to hold her head up and keep from crying.

_But I hold on, I stay strong, wondering if we still belong. _

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling, reach down underneath and tear down all the walls Will we ever have a happy ending or will we forever only be pretending. Will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending._

Puck wraps his arm around her waist and she does the same to him as they spin slowly. His touch leaves a trail of fire lingering on her waist and she takes a deep breath as they go their separate ways again and he sings his verse.

_How long do I fantasize, make believe that it's still alive. Imagine that I am good enough and we can choose the ones we love._

Rachel and Puck walk agonizingly slow past each other again as they sing together and to each other. Their voices intermingle and Rachel pours every bit of heart into her performance. How much she wants him and needs him into every word she lets leave her lips.

_Keeping secrets safe, every move we make seems like no one's letting go and it's such a shame cause if you feel the same how am I supposed to know?_

The New Directions accompany Rachel and Puck onstage as they back away from one another, once again passing each other by then turning to make their last descent toward one another. Each step brings them closer and Rachel's skin aches to feel him, to touch him one last time.

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling? Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls. Will we ever have a happy ending or will we forever only be pretending. Will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be (pretending)will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be (pretending)will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be …_

_pretending._

Rachel and Puck sing the last note as they come nose to nose and Rachel feels that spark ignite between them. Puck wraps his hand around the back of Rachel's neck and pulls her in until their foreheads are touching and his breath is fanning across her face. She thinks about how sweet his breath is and how he smells like coming home. He leans in and presses his lips to hers and she realizes that the world around her never truly disappeared until the moment Noah Puckerman kissed her under the bright lights on stage. Their tongues dance and Rachel feels her breath run short as they both pull away and the entire audience is silent.

Then out of nowhere there's clapping and it all flies by so fast. Before Rachel knows it, the music for the next song starts playing and her and Puck saunter up to their spots. He smirks at her from across the stage before Santana launches them into _Light up the World_.

And singing with them all is amazing as it always is. Santana, Artie, Brittany and Finn really give it their all and propel the performance up ten thousand notches. She really has a good feeling when they shout the last note and the audience erupts into applause.

When they're back stage waiting for the results, Rachel and Puck stand with one another and avoid eye contact. But Rachel can't help the smile that tugs at her lips and the tingling feeling she feels all over. The after effects of the mind blowing kiss with Noah Puckerman.

"I think we did good." Rachel declares and Puck grins. Of course he looks smug when he replies. "Good? We were amazing!"

Rachel blushes as she rocks back on the balls of her heels.

"The kiss was interesting." she notes shyly and Finn looks over and smiles at the two of them.

"Yeah, Quinn and I are calling it the kiss of the century. Definitely topped anything you've ever seen in any musical, huh Rach?" Finn questions and then Jesse's there and Rachel's suddenly wondering where he even came from.

"You're wrong, Finn. Their kiss was unprofessional. It was too personal and intense. The judges wont like it. They'll consider it common and vulgar and it'll cost you nationals." Jesse says sadly before looking to Rachel and smiling. "Hi Rachel. You look amazing. And you sounded great, you just shouldn't have kissed Puckerman."

"Why are you here, Jesse?" Rachel questions outwardly and he smiles at her, much to Puck's dismay.

"For you." he tells her sweetly and Rachel bites her lip. Three, two, one…

"Back off St. douche." Puck growls, stepping in front of Rachel and she can't help but think about how attractive Noah is in this moment. What she has eyes! "You're just jealous. Jealous of we have and what you wish you had. Too bad for you, Rachel's done with you. So run along and go find someone else to chase after because Rachel?" Puck pauses, wrapping his arm around Rachel's waist before turning to Jesse and scowling. "Is mine."

Jesse opens his mouth to reply as Rachel tries to bite back a smile when squeals erupt around them. Rachel's eyes widen as she watches the chaos around her.

"What's happening?" she asks as the groups around them scurry toward the wall and Kurt comes bounding from the crowd.

"They just posted the top ten for showcase." Kurt says breathlessly as he bounces up and down excitedly. "Come on everybody, gather 'round this moment's history in the making."

"Okay, okay. What should we do?" Rachel asks nervously as Puck places a hand on her hip. Mr. Schuester smiles at them.

"Let's go look at it." he tells them, patting Kurt on the back before turning to lead them through the crowd. "Come on."

The walk over is a silent as they watch Sunshine being hoisted on the members of Vocal Adrenaline's shoulders. Rachel sends her a small nervous smile as they make their way past more celebrating and crying glee clubs.

"Oh I'm too nervous to look." Rachel squeaks and Mr. Schuester takes a deep breath.

"I'll go." he tells them, stepping forward to read the list of top ten. Rachel can feel her heart hammering in her chest as she takes Kurt's and Mercedes's hands anxiously. This is it. What it all comes down to.

"What did we place?" Sam asks expectantly and Mr. Schuester continues to stare at the board.

"Well Mr. Schue. Say it. What rank?" Finn pleads desperately as Mercedes and Kurt squeeze Rachel's hands tightly.

"We didn't." Mr. Schuester says somberly and Rachel hangs her head. "I'm so sorry you guys. We aren't in the top ten."

Rachel feels the angry tears slip before she has a chance to stop them and she feels so ashamed because she knows this is her fault. Her fault for kissing Puck and for not addressing her feelings before the performance to keep from not being able to control herself. When they get back to the hotel Rachel expects Santana and the others to rip her a new one but instead of turning on her, Santana screams at Puck in a slanged Spanish that Rachel does her best to understand.

The plane ride home is completely quiet but none of the New Direction express their anger. Noah avoids all forms of contact: eye, speaking, touching. He completely avoids her and she feels the sadness plague her entire form.

When they get back to Lima and make their way through school she reluctantly makes her way to the final glee club meeting of the year. She's prepared for things to go back to the way they were before. But when she finally builds up enough courage to go inside Quinn greets her with a hug, Santana and Brittany wave at her from across the room and Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Mike and Sam smile at her as if she didn't just cost them all nationals.

"Hey diva. Where's Puckerman?" Mercedes asks suggestively as Sam raises his eyes brows and Rachel smiles sadly before looking away.

"What is it, Rach?" Sam wonders as they all look at her with concern.

"I uh.. don't know. We haven't spoken." Rachel tells them, her eyes downcast as she remembers the look on Puck's face when they lost. He blames her. He has to blame her.

"What?" Santana demands harshly, putting her hands on her hips. "Look I know you feel guilty and all, which you totally should, but goddamn the whole reason all of us are okay with this is because we thought this would finally get you and Puck together already."

"Yeah we want to see a Puckleberry reunion." Finn adds supportively, a weak supportive smile on his lips.

"I…" Rachel trails off and Santana scowls menacingly in a way Rachel cringes at.

"And I sure as hell am not going to let our loss be for nothing." Santana assures her and Quinn nods approvingly.

"Yes Rachel it's the least you could do for our battered hearts." Kurt tells her as Sam, Mercedes, Tina and Mike hold their hands over their hearts and pout at her. She shakes her head. Are they seriously trying to guilt her into…

"But…" Rachel tries to present a counter argument but none of the present New Directions give her a chance to object.

"I don't want to hear it. All is forgiven. Do you hear me?" Kurt asks and Rachel nods tearfully.

"Now go find Puckerman." Santana demands and Rachel turns to the girl.

"Santana…" Rachel tries to reason but Santana shakes her head and points to the door.

"Go!" Quinn commands and Rachel looks at the faces of her friends. Sam. Mercedes. Artie. Tina. Santana. Brittany. Mike. Quinn. Finn. All of them smiling tentatively and trying to help her. She nods before taking toward the door.

"And don't come back until you have one Noah Puckerman hanging on your arm, like a piece of arm candy. Do you hear me?" she hears Santana shout as she leaves the choir room and Rachel lets the smile she had been holding back break loose. All she ever wanted was for the glee club to feel like a family and it seems like she's finally got that. She starts to think of all the places Puck might be when a familiar voice calls out her name or surname to be exact.

"Yo Berry." Lauren calls out across the hall and Rachel cringes as she considers running in the opposite direction, instead turning to face Lauren bravely and get the beating she's expecting to come over with and out of the way so she can find Noah. All she can do is pray that Lauren doesn't break her nose.

"Yes, Lauren?" she asks hesitantly and Lauren cocks her head to the side as Rachel backs up against the set of lockers behind her.

"Heard you were looking for Puckerman." Lauren states plainly and Rachel nods as confirmation. She closes her eyes and lies in wait but she only hears Lauren's laugh. "I'm not going to hit you. But uh, I thought I'd let you know, you'll probably find him in the library."

Fear for her life aside, Rachel's jaw drops at Lauren's statement. Did she just say…

Sure enough, Rachel finds Noah Puckerman leaning against one of the stacks in the library toying with a book.

"Noah, where have you been?" she questions as she walks down the aisle to his side.

"Did you know our school had a library? And they actually like let you borrow books?" Puck laughs at the sheer absurdity as he avoids her question and Rachel smirks. Only Noah Puckerman would be that naïve. He shrugs. "Anyway, I've been here trying to avoid Santana."

"Why?" Rachel wonders as she looks down at the beautiful boy who won't look her way.

"Have you seen her? She's on a freaking rampage. I think she even made a voodoo doll that looks like me. And that shit just ain't kosher, Rachel." Puck shakes his head. She has no doubt that Latina did something of that nature. No matter how nice Santana is to her now its still Santana and that girl can make a grown man cry.

"That still doesn't explain why you haven't said a word to me since we got back." she says quietly and he scowls before looking away. She takes a deep breath before taking a seat beside him on the floor and moving her hand to his jaw. She gently turns his face towards her and he looks at her, his lips pouting and his eyes dark. "Just help me understand, Noah."

"Because you should be more pissed with me than anyone else. I screwed up, Rach. This was my first big competition and I acted like a complete selfish ass. We worked so hard and I blew it." he lets out angrily and Rachel doesn't even flinch. She prides herself on knowing him well enough to see that the anger he's harboring is for himself, no matter how guarded he tries to be.

"Look, being an artist is about expressing your true feelings in the moment no matter what the consequences. What were you feeling in that moment?" Rachel asks. She looks over at him and feels the flutter in her stomach, as if on cue.

"That I loved you." he breathes and Rachel's eyes widen as she looks at Puck with awe. She knows how hard it is for him to express his emotions and the fact that he's telling her he loves her is amazing.

"You do?" she asks hopefully and he turns to her. Rachel bites her lip before putting her hand on his shoulder and looking into his hazel eyes as he nods.

"Was it worth it?" she asks, insecurity showing its face. "Was it worth losing nationals over?"

"Yeah, it was." Puck replies without doubt and he looks to her. "How about you? Was it worth it for you?"

"Yes. Cause I know in my heart we'll have another shot at nationals. And because, I love you too… But you need to know something. Come graduation. I'm leaving for New York and I'm _never _coming back."

"That's good 'cause Kurt has pretty much already started bugging me about damn apartments and décor. Oh and he said something about me being the muscle? I refuse to be over worked without compensation." Puck waggles his eyebrows and grins before pulling Rachel in and dragging her lips to his. She smiles into the kiss before swiftly pulling away.

"Okay, let's go." she says sweetly as she gets up and brushes herself off.

"Where are we going?" Puck wonders as he sits up and leers lovingly at her.

"The final glee club meeting of the year." Rachel rolls her eyes playfully as she holds out a hand to him and he gets up and wraps it around her shoulder. Puck reaches in his pocket and pulls something out. He unwraps the ring pop in his hand as they make their way to the choir room to meet up with the others and places it on Rachel's finger.

She laughs loudly taking a lick and planting a sloppy kiss on his lips as they walk through the door. Rachel smiles as she surveys the room and sees Quinn and Finn ushering them in excitedly. She watches as Santana, Artie and Brittany laugh about something silly while Mercedes, Mike, Sam and Lauren talk animatedly about Call Of Duty. Tina and Kurt greet Rachel and Puck as they come in together with bright smiles and fingers intertwined.

Mr. Schuester walks over to them and holds up their trophy with pride.

"You want to know what eleventh place looks like?" he asks as they look at the paperweight sized trophy in his hand. They all cheer and clap because they've got one more year and each other. And as Puck squeezes her hand, Rachel knows that their senior year is going to be a good one.


End file.
